Sunday, November 25, 2012

A medium's thoughts on suicide

After working with yet another devastated family over the weekend who is the victim of a suicide, I am feeling compelled to blog about suicide. Part of my job is communicating with people who have died, as a medium. I often work with grief stricken families looking for answers. I have worked with countless families who have suffered a suicide among their loved ones. I am often able to help them find some peace. So many of the questions, both spoken and unspoken, are the same.

1- Are they okay? If they have already crossed over to the other side, then yes, they are more than okay. They have gone to heaven (or whatever you are most comfortable calling the other side) to heal and bask in unconditional love and peace. Please do not buy into any mean spirited dogma that suicide victims will go to hell, wander the earth for 100 years, cease to exist, etc. It simply isn't true. They go to the same place that everyone else does when they die. And frankly, it is a wonderful place.

2- Are they in trouble? I find a lot of families really wanting to ask this question, but they are terrified of the answer. The truth is, no one is in trouble. For various reasons, life got too hard, too painful, too overwhelming. They bailed ship before they finished what they came to learn and do. They will likely have a another life similar to this one where they can try again. But are they in trouble? Absolutely not. They are loved, just like you are.

3- Was there anything I could have done to stop them? Again, a sad question that many are afraid to ask. Time after time I have talked to those who have taken their own lives and asked this question. Time after time they have confirmed that this decision was theirs alone, and that no one could have stopped them, at least not permanently. Families: It is not you fault. Ever.

4- What happens now? Now, you live your life to the best of your ability. You love, you find a way to laugh, and you take care of each other. Your loved one will be with you a lot, in spirit. Honor their memory just like you would anyone else who has died. Do not, for one second, allow anyone to make you feel ashamed of your loved one. Their spirit is divine, their soul lives on. There is no shame in that. Your deceased will most likely wait for the lives of their family members to end and guide them home when their time comes. They will guide you when they can, visit you in your dreams, and hold your hand when you cry. You will see them again. I promise.

When people die and they cross over into heaven, they only take love with them. Fear, pain, sadness, etc, do not exist there. Love, joy, peace, bliss, and happiness are the emotions of the spirit world. Spirits are not angry, they don't hold grudges, and they aren't in pain. They simply cannot be, since those feelings don't exist in heaven.

If you are considering suicide yourself, I would like to ask you to consider the effect that your death would have on your family. If you do it, they will likely have to find you, bury you, endure a very painful and sad funeral where horribly insensitive people will say very mean and hurtful things to them. They will live with a lifetime of guilt, horror, and unanswered questions. Your parents, spouse, siblings, children, friends, co workers, teachers, classmates, neighbors and others will never forget what happened. Their lives will be changed forever in an awful way. Get help, and if that doesn't work, get more help. Keep getting help until life is sweeter than it is bitter. There are a lot of options out there. But please, put your love for those who love you first, before your fear. Eventually, I hope that you will find a million reasons to keep living, keep trying, and keep loving.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

I love butterflies. I love the rebirth that they symbolize. Did you know that when a caterpillar goes into its cocoon, it completely dissolves into goo before it turns into a butterfly? Sometimes my clients are goo. They are going through giant transitions and they are just going to be goo for a while. We have all been there. I have been there too. When you are goo, you don't really have much to offer the world. It's okay, you'll have your chance to shine after you come out of your cocoon. Enjoy the chance to be goo. If you hadn't become goo, you wouldn't have the chance to emerge even more amazing.

Several years ago I went on vacation with my family to Sedona, Arizona. We had a beautiful Native American woman named Rema as a tour guide. She took us to the base of one of the vortexes to do ceremony. The energy of the place, the ceremony, and Rema were overwhelming to me. I cried through the entire thing, emotions spilling out of me with force. Rema called me Butterfly Woman. She said that I was transitioning, remaking myself. I was a big pile of goo. I knew it. It seemed like the only way for me to release all of that energy that I was done with was to cry, and I did. A lot. Sedona was a good place for me to be goo. I learned a lot. I started to understand how powerful I truly am. I learned that I am in control of my own growth and learning. A few days after that, I had a giant butterfly tattooed onto my left shoulder. It was a symbol of me, my ever changing spirit and of rebirth.

I have looked at that tattoo a lot over the years as my beliefs about myself, my religion, my spirituality and my life have changed dramatically. I have been goo, then crawled triumphantly out of my cocoon countless times. A few days ago I had a dream that I looked in the mirror and the tattoo was gone. I panicked at first. Where in the world did it go? How could it just disappear like that? Then the realization hit me that I am no longer goo. I am done transitioning for a while. It is time for me to settle into this me, this current version of me is exactly who I am supposed to be right now. I can focus on loving, creating and teaching. I can soar to any heights I desire now that I am the butterfly.

May you all learn when you are goo and soar when you have wings.

Monday, July 23, 2012

It isn't creepy to care

This morning my husband woke up remembering a dream he had about a friend of ours. He dreamed that she is having a hard time right now and needs someone to talk to. He knew that he needed to reach out to her, but agonized all morning about what to say to her. He was worried he would come across wrong, say something that sounded creepy or weird. Finally he did reach out, and I am so glad that he did. I am confident that she will appreciate his concern.

How often do we blow off people who need us because we are afraid of putting ourselves out there? It happens a lot, and it needs to stop. The universe is constantly giving us signals. Dreams, random thoughts, and impressions about people that we know are cues that we need to stop, pay attention and act. When you start thinking about someone you haven't seen in a long time, you must reach out to them and check in. If you have a dream about your best friend from high school, she needs to hear from you. If you suddenly feel the urge to strike up a friendly conversation with a stranger, do it! All it takes is giving others a bit of your time and attention.  You never know when you are acting on behalf of the angels!

Please don't worry about looking weird or uncool. Love is cool. There is nothing weird about spreading love to all people that you come in contact with. In fact, I think that people who follow their intuition and love without hesitation are the coolest people that I know. Be kinder than necessary, give a compliment without looking for anything in return, smile at everyone. Your life will be richer for it. This is know for sure.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

The Miracle of Miss Raven

Miracles are happening all the time these days. Every day. Do you notice? Do I? Not enough, I know that. Who can blame us, really. Distractions abound at every turn. The US feels like a pressure cooker right now. The media is dancing around in the political mosh pit all day, every day. The news looks like something you would see on CSI or Law and Order. My Facebook page is so interesting, my phone is ringing, my kids are screaming! And yet, there is a dragonfly patiently waiting for me to notice her. Dragonflys have been messengers to me for a long time. Whenever I see one, I know that it is time to shut down, tune in and listen. I am trying to pay more attention to all of the miracles in my life. I have a very cool miracle to share.

My dad is dying. He has prostate cancer and he has been sick for nearly 6 years. Meds don't work anymore and he is ready to be done. My mom died from breast cancer 11 months ago. My dad has been lost without her and he wants to be back with her. He has been on hospice for a couple of months now. When he first went on hospice, we decided to take a family vacation while he still felt good enough to go. In June we rented an RV and all 13 of us crammed into it. My husband Scott drove us to the Oregon coast to hang out for a week. One of the highlights of the trip was a fishing excursion. My dad has always loved to fish, so it was a perfect addition to our trip. We were to be at the dock at 6:30 am the morning of our voyage. On the way to the dock I started missing my mom, Merri Ann. She would have loved our trip. I know that she was with us, but it just isn't the same as sharing the adventure with her. I said to my dad, "Wouldn't it be cool if our boat was named the SS Merri Ann or something like that?" He agreed that would be amazing. Soon we arrived at the dock, did the paperwork, and headed to the boat. My sister Kristi gasped and grabbed my arm. "Look at the name of the boat!" There, in scrolling white letters on the side of the sky blue boat, "Miss Raven". My eyes filled with tears of gratitude and awe. My mom loved ravens. She has come to all of us through ravens many times since her death. We all have ravens tatooed on our arm in honor of our mom. Of course our boat would be the Miss Raven! Of course she was with us on our journey. I am forever grateful for the miracles in my life.

My challenge to all of you is to slow down, tune in and pay attention. Miracles big and small are all around you. Here's to a lifetime full of miracles and magic!

Thursday, April 26, 2012

I am writing a book. I've been writing it for three years, off and on. I finally wrote the last paragraph last week. I am really excited to give it a final edit and be ready to move forward with publishing. The book itself is fiction, but there is a lot of spirituality mixed in. A lot of what goes into my work just flows through me, from sources beyond my conscious mind. The following quote is from my new book. It is one of those brilliant bits of writing that I cannot really take credit for personally, but I love it.  

"I want to spread love. I want to spread peace and understanding. I give myself freedom to follow my own intuition . I recognize that I am a powerful, divine being, a Goddess in my own right. If more human beings understood their own vast potential to spread love and make the world a better place, can you imagine how wonderful it would be? I firmly believe that by loving instead of fearing, I can make a difference in this world. My love, my actions, and my example can encourage people of all faiths to be the best that they can be. I don’t expect anyone to join me on my path, it is mine alone to follow. It is my responsibility to inspire every person that I come in contact with to walk their own path with love, compassion, and understanding. Sometimes I am misunderstood. Sometimes there are people who are stuck in fear who cannot see past our differences. That just encourages me to love more, understand more, and spread more light.”

These words feel like the creed of my life. I suspect that they feel like the creed of your life as as well. We are so powerful when we work together in love!

Monday, January 30, 2012

Recently at a meditation group, I was led on a journey to meet my Divine Self. I was excited to see what wondeful things this Divine Self of mine is up to, since in my mind, she is the perfection of me. What could she teach me? What do I need to do differently, to improve on? I was guided to a little cottage with lights shining through the windows. I opened the door and entered the magical world of my own Divine Self.

There she was, standing in the kitchen, making dinner. I gasped when I saw her, taken completely by suprise. She was round, curvy and voluptious. My Divine Self is Goddess shaped! Her house was untidy, maybe even cluttered. Her kids were playing a game and laughing loudly. The home had a happy, loving energy that enveloped me. Soon Divine Self offered me a cup of coffee and sat with me at the table. I took this chance to ask her a lot of questions. It turns out, Divine Self loves hot baths, good coffee and lavender oil. She loves the moon and the night sky. She laughs and teases and plays. She eats meat! And she loves good wine. She adores animals and shares a deep connection with them. She sees the best in everyone, and loves unconditionally. She knows that all people have unmeasurable potential. She knows that people are inherently good. She cries when her heart hurts and she cries when someone she loves is hurting too. She wants our world to love freely and stop living with fear.
Divine Self helped me to understand that she is the best parts of me. She and I are one and the same, when I am operating in love. She loves me and wants me to live up to my full potential. She does not want me to struggle with finding perfection, since perfection is just an illusion. Instead, she wants me to learn to operate in love all the time, in every situation.

You, my friends, all have a Divine Self too. It is the best parts of you. My challenge to you is to connect to your own divine and celebrate all of the wonderful traits that are you.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Get over yourselves, you are perfect!

Recently Kara and I went to visit a terminally ill client. He is in full renal failure and is not expected to live much longer. I wasn't really sure why he wanted us to come, but felt strongly that we should go. As it turned out, he wanted to ask a lot of questions about death and dying. We had a deep and profound conversation with him. He was worried that he has not been a good enough person and that maybe some terrible judgement awaits him when he dies. It was clear to see that this man is well loved by his family and friends. He has done the best he could with the life that he had. I was saddened to think that he could possibly think that he has not been enough. Later that night, I shared that conversation with my dad. I was dumbfounded to discover that he shared similar fears about death and judgement. My dad, who is one the most well-loved people that I have ever known, is afraid that he has not been good enough. In both of these men, old worthiness issues were creeping in. I have been thinking a lot about this, I have decided that it is time to share my feelings on this very tender subject.

1- No dead people hate you. None. As a psychic, I do mediumship work from time to time. That means that I talk to dead people. I often work with clients who have regrets regarding passed love ones. Rest assured, my friends, grudges do not carry over to the other side. There is only one emotion that carries over and that is love. Love creates peace and joy. Your dad is proud of you. He adores you. Your grandma still pats you on the arm and tells you that she loves you. Even if you are making choices in your life that those people would not be happy with, they love your stinking guts. They don't care if you smoke, drink, or got divorced. They aren't watching to see if you go to church. They would even still love you if you kicked a puppy (but please don't). There is not one darn thing that you could do that would change it. Love does not die, fear does.

2- You are not going to hell, you're just not that badass. Seriously, you're not, even if there was such a place. Life is about learning and loving. I have read for countless people over the years, and I have yet to encounter someone who did not have a beautiful, incredible soul. People are good at heart. They may make decisions that are not in alignment with their best good from time to time. That happens to everyone. You'll have to figure those parts out after you die. Perhaps you will live another life that is similar to this one so that you can try again. Perhaps part of your life was to help someone else learn and grow. Did you learn to love unconditionally, forgive those who wronged you and take care of those in need? Did you laugh until your sides hurt, show gratitude for the incredible life that you were granted and make the most out of the time that you had? Then you are golden. If you didn't, you're still golden. You still get to enjoy a beautiful existence on the other side with your family and friends. The richness of this life is yours to gain because it is wonderful, not because it is required.

3- "Worthy" is a filthy word and has no place in your life. I hate that horrible word, worthy. It leads to the assumption that some people are better than others. That you, due to some choices or financial status or family situation are somehow not able to receive the gifts of the Universe that others enjoy. I call bullshit. You are "worthy" because you exist. Every single one of us is on the same level and every single one of us deserve to be happy and taken care of. You can do, be and have anything you want because you are you. When you die, the same theory applies. You are enough, right now and after you die.

Now that we have gotten these key points out of the way, go forth and do good. Do it because you want to. Do something on your bucket list because it makes you happy. Forgive an old hurt because you like being free. Show gratitude for all that you have because you are so blessed. We are all terminal from the first breath we take. It is time, friends, to live like you are dying.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

2012: Time to live like it is the last year on earth

Here it is, the moment we have all been waiting for! 2012 has birthed. Of course, the fated date will not be here for nearly 12 more months, but still....everyone is talking about it. The end of the world, the apocolypse, the second coming and so on. I don't believe that we are done after this year by any means, but I am acutely aware of the change going on all around me.

First of all, the weather. The weather here in Idaho has been very strange the last few years. Late winters, early winters, long springs, rainy seasons in June and July, low summer temps, etc. Take year, for example. Usually by the end of December we have a foot or few of snow on the ground and we are gearing up for the subzero temps that Januaray usually dishes out. This year, however, it has been in the 40's nearly every day for the last 2 weeks. We have no snow in the valleys and we are running around in jackets. I have been seriously tempted to get the lawnmower out and do some yard work. This is really bizzare weather for us.

Secondly, people are starting to notice and care more. We have seen more activism around the planet this last year than we have seen anytime in recent history. From the Middle East to Africa to Europe to the USA, people are waking up. They are unable to follow the status quo any longer. They are realizing that the change they seek must begin with them. It has been beautiful and inspiring to see.

Third, time is flying by. For realsies.
“Time is actually speeding up. For thousands of years the Schumann Resonance or pulse (heartbeat) of Earth has been 7.83 cycles per second, The military have used this as a very reliable reference. However, since 1980 this resonance has been slowly rising. It is now over 12 cycles per second! This mean there is the equalivant of less than 16 hours per day instead of the old 24 hours." (
This fact does not suprise me at all, nor do I think it will suprise you. The times are changing, and they are changing fast. Here is another very interesting article about this phenomenon from scientist Gregg Braden's point of view.

What does all of this change mean? It means that it is time to get with the program. I see this as a time to jump on the change train. 2012 is your year to make so much happen. It is, without any doubt, time to start living your dreams. Evaluate your life. No one is going to drop the curtain on us at the end of the year, but I suggest that you start living like they are. Laugh more, have more fun and most of all, LOVE MORE! Take charge of your life and become the CEO of you and your destiny. It is all up to you now. I, for one, cannot wait to see what you do with it.