Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Leave your ego at the door

I was listening to talk radio in the car this morning, as I normally do. An artist was being interviewed about group art projects. She said, "It is imperative that you check your ego at the door. When we all come together with open minds and open hearts, the magic really happens!" What a profound statement for all of us. We are all working together on the art project of life all the time, after all.

I had a visual of what it would look like to check your ego at door:

Imagine walking into an opulent, expansive ballroom. There are incredible light beings dancing, laughing, talking, loving. You long to join them, but you are frightened to. In order to enter, you must remove your clothes, your ego. You are afraid of feeling bare, naked to the room. You hesitate in front of the coat check counter, where egos are being stored. There is a wise old woman behind the desk.

"You know, they all looked just like you when they came in. It takes great courage to remove your ego and expose your true colors."

"I am scared," you admit. "What if they laugh at me? What if my colors are different?"

"My darling girl, listen to yourself! The light beings in this room checked their egos at the door. They will not laugh at you, nor judge you in any way, for they cannot. Their ego selves are hanging here, in the closet. You will be mixing with their spirits, and spirits only know unconditional love for themselves and others. All you have to do is give your ego to me. I will hang it here, on a hook. Should you ever decide that you want it back, all you have to do ask."

Your eyes fill with tears of joy as the depth of the old woman's words wash over you. You can be YOU here, the real you, with no fear, no judgment, no worries whatsoever. You have been longing for this moment for as long as you can remember.

"It is easier than you may think," the old woman encourages. "Just untie it at your throat, the ties will be there."

You place your hands at your throat and to your surprise, there are indeed ties there. You realize that you are wearing a heavy cloak, that suddenly feels very cumbersome and uncomfortable. It is easy to untie it  and allow it to fall at your feet. Your whole body feels lighter. Your true colors start swirling around you in vibrant purples, reds, blues, greens, and gold. You dance away from your old cloak without a single thought, so happy to be free.

The other light beings in the room receive you with love and joy. They are as happy as you are that you chose to remove your heavy cloak.....

You can do it too, you know. You can choose to take off your cloak, bare all, and walk in beauty. Every time fear, in its many forms, shows up in your life, cast it aside. Choose to be supportive rather than jealous, forgiving rather than vindictive, joyous rather than morose.

I am ready to show my whole self, to dance with the light beings, to drop my ego at my feet. Will you join me on the dance floor?

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Notes from the bathroom

A really magical thing has happened, and it all started with a kid leaving a notepad on the bathroom sink. My 11 year old daughter, on a whim, wrote "How are you? Please write back" on the top of a notepad and left it in the bathroom at my dad's house. I found it there, not sure who wrote it or if someone forgot to put their stuff away. I responded to the note, saying I was fine, and to have a wonderful day. Later in the day, someone else added a note, and so on. Now, several days later, there are five pages of notes. Some are nice, some are silly, and there are even 2 short poems. It is exciting to go into the bathroom now and check the notebook for new material!

My dad is dying from cancer. We take care of him at home. His house is a revolving door of family, friends, and nurses. I can only imagine what people must think when they find our bathroom notes. I hope that they get a little laugh out of them. I hope that their heaviness over the situation is lifted for a moment or two. I sincerely hope that they see that we are still the loving, happy family that they we have always been. I really, really hope that they will add their own sentiment to the notes. I suspect that we will hang onto these bathroom notes for years to come. Who knew that a notebook in the bathroom would become a source of inspiration?  

Sunday, November 25, 2012

A medium's thoughts on suicide

After working with yet another devastated family over the weekend who is the victim of a suicide, I am feeling compelled to blog about suicide. Part of my job is communicating with people who have died, as a medium. I often work with grief stricken families looking for answers. I have worked with countless families who have suffered a suicide among their loved ones. I am often able to help them find some peace. So many of the questions, both spoken and unspoken, are the same.

1- Are they okay? If they have already crossed over to the other side, then yes, they are more than okay. They have gone to heaven (or whatever you are most comfortable calling the other side) to heal and bask in unconditional love and peace. Please do not buy into any mean spirited dogma that suicide victims will go to hell, wander the earth for 100 years, cease to exist, etc. It simply isn't true. They go to the same place that everyone else does when they die. And frankly, it is a wonderful place.

2- Are they in trouble? I find a lot of families really wanting to ask this question, but they are terrified of the answer. The truth is, no one is in trouble. For various reasons, life got too hard, too painful, too overwhelming. They bailed ship before they finished what they came to learn and do. They will likely have a another life similar to this one where they can try again. But are they in trouble? Absolutely not. They are loved, just like you are.

3- Was there anything I could have done to stop them? Again, a sad question that many are afraid to ask. Time after time I have talked to those who have taken their own lives and asked this question. Time after time they have confirmed that this decision was theirs alone, and that no one could have stopped them, at least not permanently. Families: It is not you fault. Ever.

4- What happens now? Now, you live your life to the best of your ability. You love, you find a way to laugh, and you take care of each other. Your loved one will be with you a lot, in spirit. Honor their memory just like you would anyone else who has died. Do not, for one second, allow anyone to make you feel ashamed of your loved one. Their spirit is divine, their soul lives on. There is no shame in that. Your deceased will most likely wait for the lives of their family members to end and guide them home when their time comes. They will guide you when they can, visit you in your dreams, and hold your hand when you cry. You will see them again. I promise.

When people die and they cross over into heaven, they only take love with them. Fear, pain, sadness, etc, do not exist there. Love, joy, peace, bliss, and happiness are the emotions of the spirit world. Spirits are not angry, they don't hold grudges, and they aren't in pain. They simply cannot be, since those feelings don't exist in heaven.

If you are considering suicide yourself, I would like to ask you to consider the effect that your death would have on your family. If you do it, they will likely have to find you, bury you, endure a very painful and sad funeral where horribly insensitive people will say very mean and hurtful things to them. They will live with a lifetime of guilt, horror, and unanswered questions. Your parents, spouse, siblings, children, friends, co workers, teachers, classmates, neighbors and others will never forget what happened. Their lives will be changed forever in an awful way. Get help, and if that doesn't work, get more help. Keep getting help until life is sweeter than it is bitter. There are a lot of options out there. But please, put your love for those who love you first, before your fear. Eventually, I hope that you will find a million reasons to keep living, keep trying, and keep loving.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

I love butterflies. I love the rebirth that they symbolize. Did you know that when a caterpillar goes into its cocoon, it completely dissolves into goo before it turns into a butterfly? Sometimes my clients are goo. They are going through giant transitions and they are just going to be goo for a while. We have all been there. I have been there too. When you are goo, you don't really have much to offer the world. It's okay, you'll have your chance to shine after you come out of your cocoon. Enjoy the chance to be goo. If you hadn't become goo, you wouldn't have the chance to emerge even more amazing.

Several years ago I went on vacation with my family to Sedona, Arizona. We had a beautiful Native American woman named Rema as a tour guide. She took us to the base of one of the vortexes to do ceremony. The energy of the place, the ceremony, and Rema were overwhelming to me. I cried through the entire thing, emotions spilling out of me with force. Rema called me Butterfly Woman. She said that I was transitioning, remaking myself. I was a big pile of goo. I knew it. It seemed like the only way for me to release all of that energy that I was done with was to cry, and I did. A lot. Sedona was a good place for me to be goo. I learned a lot. I started to understand how powerful I truly am. I learned that I am in control of my own growth and learning. A few days after that, I had a giant butterfly tattooed onto my left shoulder. It was a symbol of me, my ever changing spirit and of rebirth.

I have looked at that tattoo a lot over the years as my beliefs about myself, my religion, my spirituality and my life have changed dramatically. I have been goo, then crawled triumphantly out of my cocoon countless times. A few days ago I had a dream that I looked in the mirror and the tattoo was gone. I panicked at first. Where in the world did it go? How could it just disappear like that? Then the realization hit me that I am no longer goo. I am done transitioning for a while. It is time for me to settle into this me, this current version of me is exactly who I am supposed to be right now. I can focus on loving, creating and teaching. I can soar to any heights I desire now that I am the butterfly.

May you all learn when you are goo and soar when you have wings.

Monday, July 23, 2012

It isn't creepy to care

This morning my husband woke up remembering a dream he had about a friend of ours. He dreamed that she is having a hard time right now and needs someone to talk to. He knew that he needed to reach out to her, but agonized all morning about what to say to her. He was worried he would come across wrong, say something that sounded creepy or weird. Finally he did reach out, and I am so glad that he did. I am confident that she will appreciate his concern.

How often do we blow off people who need us because we are afraid of putting ourselves out there? It happens a lot, and it needs to stop. The universe is constantly giving us signals. Dreams, random thoughts, and impressions about people that we know are cues that we need to stop, pay attention and act. When you start thinking about someone you haven't seen in a long time, you must reach out to them and check in. If you have a dream about your best friend from high school, she needs to hear from you. If you suddenly feel the urge to strike up a friendly conversation with a stranger, do it! All it takes is giving others a bit of your time and attention.  You never know when you are acting on behalf of the angels!

Please don't worry about looking weird or uncool. Love is cool. There is nothing weird about spreading love to all people that you come in contact with. In fact, I think that people who follow their intuition and love without hesitation are the coolest people that I know. Be kinder than necessary, give a compliment without looking for anything in return, smile at everyone. Your life will be richer for it. This is know for sure.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

The Miracle of Miss Raven

Miracles are happening all the time these days. Every day. Do you notice? Do I? Not enough, I know that. Who can blame us, really. Distractions abound at every turn. The US feels like a pressure cooker right now. The media is dancing around in the political mosh pit all day, every day. The news looks like something you would see on CSI or Law and Order. My Facebook page is so interesting, my phone is ringing, my kids are screaming! And yet, there is a dragonfly patiently waiting for me to notice her. Dragonflys have been messengers to me for a long time. Whenever I see one, I know that it is time to shut down, tune in and listen. I am trying to pay more attention to all of the miracles in my life. I have a very cool miracle to share.

My dad is dying. He has prostate cancer and he has been sick for nearly 6 years. Meds don't work anymore and he is ready to be done. My mom died from breast cancer 11 months ago. My dad has been lost without her and he wants to be back with her. He has been on hospice for a couple of months now. When he first went on hospice, we decided to take a family vacation while he still felt good enough to go. In June we rented an RV and all 13 of us crammed into it. My husband Scott drove us to the Oregon coast to hang out for a week. One of the highlights of the trip was a fishing excursion. My dad has always loved to fish, so it was a perfect addition to our trip. We were to be at the dock at 6:30 am the morning of our voyage. On the way to the dock I started missing my mom, Merri Ann. She would have loved our trip. I know that she was with us, but it just isn't the same as sharing the adventure with her. I said to my dad, "Wouldn't it be cool if our boat was named the SS Merri Ann or something like that?" He agreed that would be amazing. Soon we arrived at the dock, did the paperwork, and headed to the boat. My sister Kristi gasped and grabbed my arm. "Look at the name of the boat!" There, in scrolling white letters on the side of the sky blue boat, "Miss Raven". My eyes filled with tears of gratitude and awe. My mom loved ravens. She has come to all of us through ravens many times since her death. We all have ravens tatooed on our arm in honor of our mom. Of course our boat would be the Miss Raven! Of course she was with us on our journey. I am forever grateful for the miracles in my life.

My challenge to all of you is to slow down, tune in and pay attention. Miracles big and small are all around you. Here's to a lifetime full of miracles and magic!

Thursday, April 26, 2012

I am writing a book. I've been writing it for three years, off and on. I finally wrote the last paragraph last week. I am really excited to give it a final edit and be ready to move forward with publishing. The book itself is fiction, but there is a lot of spirituality mixed in. A lot of what goes into my work just flows through me, from sources beyond my conscious mind. The following quote is from my new book. It is one of those brilliant bits of writing that I cannot really take credit for personally, but I love it.  

"I want to spread love. I want to spread peace and understanding. I give myself freedom to follow my own intuition . I recognize that I am a powerful, divine being, a Goddess in my own right. If more human beings understood their own vast potential to spread love and make the world a better place, can you imagine how wonderful it would be? I firmly believe that by loving instead of fearing, I can make a difference in this world. My love, my actions, and my example can encourage people of all faiths to be the best that they can be. I don’t expect anyone to join me on my path, it is mine alone to follow. It is my responsibility to inspire every person that I come in contact with to walk their own path with love, compassion, and understanding. Sometimes I am misunderstood. Sometimes there are people who are stuck in fear who cannot see past our differences. That just encourages me to love more, understand more, and spread more light.”

These words feel like the creed of my life. I suspect that they feel like the creed of your life as as well. We are so powerful when we work together in love!